ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
