Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize