3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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