Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
