What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
