he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
