he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
