Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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