She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
