Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
