I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize