If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
