I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
