10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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