Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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