umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
