I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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