It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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