Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
