"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
