I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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