like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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