The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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