that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
