PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
