somebody snuck up and got me drunk
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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