Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
