I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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