I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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