he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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