I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
