it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
