I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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