too bad you live with your parents still
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
