Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
