okay pat passed out under dana's car
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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