So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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