best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize