you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
