Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
