so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
