now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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