theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
