i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
