he puts the penis in happiness.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
