I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I will pee on everything he values.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize