fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We have started to decorate penises.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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