Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
