i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You did what with his pubic hair?
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