I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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