She announced her abortion via fbk
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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