So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
