it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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