Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
