I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
