everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
