i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm getting married
To pizza
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Help. Why am I so naked?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
