I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
