i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
