I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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